Thankful for my freedom

Good morning! It's Chinese New Year's Eve. I just came back from a house party. Just in case if you are wondering, I am perfectly sober. It's only a little dangerous to run a 2.4km now.

Initially, I was quite determined to stay at home to have enough rest for tomorrow's reunion breakfast with my secondary school friends. But this Beng Hao managed to persuade me. I'm quite an easy person to convince.

Before I left home, I called my mom, who was shopping for cny flowers at the garden with my father. That phone call warmed my heart so much.

I always tell them my whereabouts especially when I go out in the middle of the night. Be it supper, clubbing, pubbing, or house partying. My parents never once force me NOT to go ahead with my plans. Of course, they might not be totally supporting and encouraging to the idea of drinking and the almost-weekly-clubbing-activity I'm involved in... But I am really very grateful to gain their trust.

There was once my mom sent me to the gate when I was leaving home for Zouk. She stood at the door and watched me put on my dr. martens (took quite a while) and walked with me to the gate to lock the gate for me so that I don't have to use a key. Totally warms my heart. And because of such small little actions, I tell myself that I will not disappoint her by going over my limit. Getting so drunk and wasted, collapsing on the floor, losing memory and waking up to a whole body of bruises were all histories.

No doubt I did get scoldings from my mom before for being dragged home by my friends just because I lost conscious. My mom even raised her voice and teared when she knew I waited for 4 hours at the bus stop for the first bus home just to save some bucks. She said even if it takes her life to drive, she would rather come pick me up than to know that I sat at the bus stop for 4 hours.

There was another time I got so drunk that I didn't managed to contact my mom and only got home in the late afternoon the following day. My mom got so upset and told me that I should've told her my location even if I'm not going home. So if I'm too dead to go home, I can sleep in at my friend's place (Fiona's place is my hideout when I turned into drunkard Chong) but I will inform my mom that I am sleeping safely at Fiona's place.

So the next time when I was really drunk from the free flow of wine at my intern company's event after party, I woke up at my colleague's place and immediately informed my mom after gaining consciousness. Managed to get home safe and my mom did not question anything after that. I was the one who kept blabbering about how big the event was, how grand mbs theatre was, and how I got a lot of free wine at Avalon, non stop.

I'm really truly grateful for her. :') Even though part of me knows that my parents are probably giving me this freedom because I've worked hard enough, because this is the only time I have nothing to commit to and that only chance to have fun, because they might be afraid that I won't want to come back to Singapore if I were to prefer the real taste of freedom in Melbourne.

My uni choice, my accommodation, my course choice, my friends, my partner, my commitments, my internship, my life in general were all settled on my own. All they did is to support, even if my choices were bad and impractical. I guess that's okay because I learn from that. Seriously, I have nothing to complain about. I have a supportive family. Excuse me when I complain about being the middle child though. It's human nature to complain and feel insufficient in some aspects.

The phone call is my best Ang pow this Chinese New Year. I told her I'm going to my friend's house, he's throwing a party, and I'm taking a bus to KAP where my other friend will be picking me up and I assured her that I have a driver to send me home before the sun rises. For every detail I informed her, I got a very firm and worry-less "hao/okay". It really makes me feel that she trusts me entirely that I will be responsible for my own doings. And trusts me that I am matured enough to make my own decisions. It makes me feel like a reliable person.

Really felt so loved that I stepped out of home (not just a house, it's a home) to party the night away, but always kept in mind the way to go home.