Changes

I am crying out loud while typing this. Tonight, I really scared the shit out of myself. I never felt so frightened in my life ever. This is such a daunting experience that I will never forget. It just happened and I felt the need to blog it out. I cannot contain this and keep it to myself, but didn't know who to call and ask for help or even listen to me.

I am such a lousy and bad driver. I was shocked to find that Honda Stream is gone and was replaced and I have no idea how to operate the new car. Every car has a different feel and control and this steering wheel is freaking heavy. Whatever it is, I frowned and forced myself to keep going. After dropping my bro off at his camp near loyang, I made my way back. I thought it would be smooth sailing if I were to just follow the expressways I came from. Who knows I lost my way again. I went to Kranji, that ulu farm place, but luckily, it was so empty that I could do a 3-point turn to get back to the main road.

I got up to BKE from there, and guess what! I AM ON MY WAY TO MALAYSIA. I got onto BKE(WOODLANDS) expressway. I didn't know it was the woodlands checkpoint!!! No wonder so many motorcycles over there. The best thing is that there isn't any u-turn and it's a one-way road. I was on my verge of breaking down I wanted to get back to Singapore. But I have no choice but to continue queueing all the way to the checkpoint.

When it's one car away from my turn, I thought I could use my passport and clear the custom, but I realised I took it out this morning. I really wanted to die. I can't believe I have the courage to drive on the roads alone at such late night, with a totally unfamiliar car model, and after about 6 months not driving AT ALL. I ended up at woodlands checkpoint, without any turning back.

I told the person my situation (that I am a noob who lost my way and ended up here unknowingly) and I have to go to the office to report. The officer told me to go straight and turn left into the secondary clearance. But shit, the lane was so narrow and it's for motorcycles only? So I went straight. The officer shouted and shouted and asked me to reverse!! I could have been shot if I were to go on straight. Sighs. Even when I was reversing, the officer wanted to vomit blood and taught me the right posture to reverse properly. Sighs Sighs, I guess that's why I ended up at the checkpoint. My goodness.

I even needed his help and guidance to park my car at the carpark. Luckily it was quite spacious I managed to park quite quickly with his guidance. After that, I reported to the checkpoint office and reported my situation. It was recorded and I am guided to the road back to Singapore. I have to pass by two gigantic metal gates and when the officer opened the gates for me, he finally smiled. While passing my IC back to me, he said, "19 years old uh? Haiyo, be careful ah. Drive home safely..."

Immediately, I cried all the way from the checkpoint to upper bukit timah. It was such a terrifying experience. Imagine the number of cars and motorcycles at the checkpoint. I even drove the wrong way within the checkpoint area. I wanted to die. I should not have drove. I wanted to call someone to ask for help when I knew I was driving towards the checkpoint, but I know they could not be much of a help. I was really on my own.. When my father knew that I lost my way and drove up the checkpoint, he seemed rather disappointed. I sucha loser.

Ever since my return, nothing is ever the same. The house changed, environment changed, friends changed, even I, myself changed. Is this part of growing up? Maybe this is the painful wings-hardening process. Hope it'd be over real soon.